Admiration is not the basis of love, but it is often part of the ingredients that make it up. It is difficult to love someone if you do not find qualities, values, or a particularity that differs from others and that we admire at home. Must we respect someone to love him?
The two types of admiration
Before going further, and answering the famous question, must we admire the other to love him, or be admired to be loved, we must know that there are two types of admiration. Finally, in my opinion. The physical admiration on the one hand, which makes you find beautiful this or that person, this or that part of her body. And on the other hand the psychic admiration. Here, I speak of admiring the being in himself, his qualities, his mind, etc.
Healthy admiration can cause love to perish
Love and admiration can go hand in hand if the admiration one feels for the other are healthy. It is true that the feeling of admiration is what you think at the beginning of a relationship. A woman, for example, can admire her partner for her professional success, her kindness, and the fact that her partner makes her laugh all the time. It is normal for everyone to seek assurance and recognition in the eyes of others. If admiration takes this meaning, it can certainly make love last in the relationship. Because love is a subjective experience, it varies considerably between individuals. Your love must go beyond the superficial, beyond the purely emotional, to a state of fascination and mutual respect and mutual admiration.
Attention to admiration traps
Those who have succeeded in their love relationship, advance proof that the basis of a healthy love relationship is in the admiration of the other. The flame can go out, and the spark becomes fragile if this main ingredient of love is lacking. Manifested to excess, admiration can become heavy to live for your partner. Admiration can also become a trap when your partner is afraid to disappoint you if he can no longer meet all your expectations. If your love is not strong enough to overcome the situation, your relationship will suffer because you no longer feel admiration for him. If admiration rests on purely superficial material values, such as money, wealth, feats, celebrity; when these values disappear; your relationship as a couple will have a hard time working.
Maintaining the flame of love with healthy and mutual admiration
When you admire a person, you respect it intimately. Admiration is a very personal affair. While you respect strangers, respect your elders; to admire an individual is a much more personal affair. Especially when this admiration comes with romantic love. One will even go so far as to say that without mutual admiration, romantic love can never reach what some people call an eternal love, which the ancient Greeks called “agape.”
A perfect balance between love and admiration
Without mutual admiration, you and your partner will not be able to get close to you. You will lose interest with time, and your mind will waver, eventually breaking the bond you have created over the years. Lovers already have a level of admiration for each other, but the intensity of admiration varies. Most relationships have a superficial mutual admiration, sometimes a one-sided admiration. If you manage to admire and feel the need to solicit the admiration of your partner, and successfully, you create a cycle that is self-perpetuating and nourishing, allowing your love to flourish.
Love without admiration?
I do not think you can love without admiring your partner. It goes together. However, it is highly possible to fall in love initially without this admiration, and it will appear later. Besides, it is not because you do not admire a person initially, that you will not necessarily fall in love. Note that this goes both ways, if one admires the other, the other will admire one later.